I stand in front of the tea shelf and wonder. I always do it when I buy tea once a year, because the overwhelming range of blends that promise me bliss and eternal youth (and then "are only" tea blends) robs me regularly. Who needs a coach when they have EDEKA and REWE? You just have to stand in front of a tea shelf for half an hour and you get the really important question for me on the way, namely: What do I need most at the moment? Is it lucky? Health? Peaceful sleep? Do I want to lose weight? Become wiser? Be more beautiful? The types of tea staring at me. I stare back, then I grab it. In the end, the diagnosis costs about 20 euros and is: I actually want everything. There is a reason why you only need tea once a year.
So now I need more "to be a woman"
It's going to be particularly crazy this year. While the world happily strangles away (or at least tries), the flower shelf has the only female, reserved for one gender, floral and spicy femininity. "For the woman who wants to find her middle" or for everyone "in which the strength of a lioness lies dormant". I can also live "in harmony with the female cycle" better when I buy tea. I did not know that. What was that for a life without women's tea, please ???
One floral print than the next
My gaze sticks to the boxes like my tongue to a cold, cold capris. And again the tea shelf asks me what I need. I wobble from leg to leg. Maybe balance, I think. But female power also smiles knowingly at me and the cycle tea is very warning in the top row. In the end, I buy them all. Not that my cycle gets out of joint just because I refuse this "must-have". You never know how well the tea companies are connected. But if they promise the power of the moon, then you should be on your guard. That sounds pretty formidable!
The imprint works. After all.
At home, I sit down on the sofa and start the journey to all my femininity. Today it will unfold like a rose, lull me into a peaceful sleep with the scent of lavender and accompany me to the peak of female lust. One tea bag after another disappears in boiling water. While I wait for the boiling time, I read the imprints and let myself slide into the transcendence of blissful tea trance. Before I take a sip, I humming "Natural Woman" into a deep, restful sleep. When I wake up the next morning, my inner lioness yawns and the goddess in me makes her coffee. I'm really relieved that I didn't drink the six full cups yesterday. I would have run to the toilet twenty times tonight. The goddess in me would not have liked that at all, restful sleep knows no urge to urinate. And what is it? The product description was enough. Yes, damn it, I became a real woman tonight, through the power of the moon! I even think my breasts have grown a bit. Man, I’m glad there’s female tea!