Our author Kathi Killmann has passed 30 and is suddenly single again. While her friends are having children, getting married and moving to the country one after the other, she looks for her lid between dating portals and bar visits and realizes - it is not that easy anymore, but it is still fun! She takes us on her search for the right thing and reports weekly about her experiences and insights. It continues with episode 39: Home alone - My life as a single in Corona times
"Well then cheers" - my friend holds her full wine glass into the camera and smiles at me. "Cheers!" We were supposed to meet in our favorite bar tonight. Instead, we decided to hold our date virtually in times of #staythefuckhome #bleibdaheim and #flattenthecurve. Quite funny too.
Sometimes the picture shakes and freezes my girlfriend in an awkward pose, sometimes the transmission hooks up, sometimes we catch ourselves checking emails or being otherwise distracted. FaceTime instead of face-to-face is not the same.
In retrospect, when I tell Sara about my visit to Felix, I find it very naive that I got on the train a week ago without further ado and spent the whole weekend with a man I haven't known for very long . Hours in the full train compartment, three hours back in the even fuller compartment, in between a visit to the restaurant and museum - actually a normal weekend, it would be normal times.
Greatest possible distance
When Sara's picture has disappeared from my laptop display, it suddenly becomes very quiet in my apartment. I have been alone at home with a cold and cough for a week, I work from home and order from the delivery service. I haven't seen, hugged or kissed anyone in a week. Slowly I get an idea of how loneliness feels.
I'm worried. Worrying about my loved ones, worrying about the many old people who are really alone now, who have no one to run errands for them, no one to write to them or call them and ask if everything is OK. Crazy times. People keep their distance, nobody seems to trust the other anymore - greatest possible distance, critical eye, as little social contact as possible.
In fact, I haven't had as many phone calls as I did last week. Let's hear how the friend is doing, a long phone call with my mother, ask Grandma if everything is okay. The spatial distance gives way to the proximity that friends and family radiate for me. Vacation camp mood, only without vacation and without the camp.